God Took My Hands

Now for a really awesome miracle, certainly confirming my faith in a living, loving God Who will really answer and comfort us if we believe that He will:

Last night I fell into one of my worst crying episodes—the day had piled up one thing after another that was just negative input into my already stressed mind.  None of these things were major, but against the backdrop of my already grief-filled, very difficult life, it was more than I could process.  I went into my hating-myself-and-my-life mode, feeling like a horrible failure who was being endlessly punished for every misstep I ever took in my life.  I felt very used, unappreciated, lonely, and hopeless (for heaven's sake, my husband never talks!!!).  I've been in that mental place lots of times in the past, and I always get past them, so I knew I would get past it last night, but just did not know how.

I sat down and just cried it out to God, praying that He could help me, although I could not imagine how.  It came into my mind to open the Bible to a random page and read what it said—I've done this many times; sometimes it calms me like a miracle, but sometimes I'll turn to something like 2 Chronicles with stories of kings and battles and that does not help.  Last night I was barely in the mood to read even one verse, but I quickly opened the Bible, and it was on Psalm 77.

The Psalm begins:
I cried out to God for help;
    I cried out to God to hear me. 
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
    at night I stretched out untiring hands,
    and I would not be comforted.  [This is exactly how I was feeling!  The very first line immediately stopped my crying, because I was so awed; I kept reading and it got even better.]


I was too troubled to speak.  
I thought about the former days,
    the years of long ago;  [I could barely speak because I was crying so much; I WAS thinking about the past, haunted by both the good and bad memories.  This is always a mistake; we must keep just moving forward.]


Will the Lord reject forever?
  Will he never show his favor again? Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
    Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful?
    Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”  [I was feeling very punished, knowing I deserved all my misery, even though I know God forgives us everything that we are sorry for.]


You are the God who performs miracles;
    you display your power among the peoples.  [By the time I got to this line—even before—I was completely calm and comforted; God had truly performed a miracle for me.]

God didn't make any of my problems go away, but just feeling so awestruck by how He came to me and actually led my hands to this Psalm completely calmed and comforted me.  I forgot about the problems and all the negative thoughts in the blazing light of God's love and healing.