By the way, to anyone who may be reading this blog, I am NOT writing it to complain about my life. I am writing it to put my complex thoughts in writing because it helps me; and because I am taking this walk of faith in God, and I want to share how God helps me. One of the things that greatly started to build my faith in God was reading stories about other people who had horrendous life situations and how God helped them through it.
Today is another slow day, struggling with Vince's eating—I don't know if he's too tired or if the substitute aide just can't feed him. I have been trying to feed him myself, but still not doing as well as our regular aide who seems to be able to get all the food into Vince. Maybe Vince is just slowing down. All I can do is take that one step at a time and things will become clearer; I will see what I need to see in God's timing.
The weather today is my favorite—sunny, not hot, not cold, gentle breeze, bright blue sky. It came to me this morning to go over the the church and sit in the flower garden there. I'd never done that, and I only had half an hour before I had to start the lunchtime routine, but it was so peaceful there. I sat in front of the large statue of Mary, which says "Queen of the Family—You are our hope; Pray for us." I finished praying the Rosary I had started earlier this morning, and just sat there. I tried not to think, but to just BE there in the presence of our loving Mother Mary who carried the most awful trials with peace, love and calm. She is my role model, and for years I have prayed that I could be just a little bit like her.
The aide is struggling with feeding Vince again, so on I go—my turn to try.
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