Question for God

I feel I am in a crisis today.  I had a meltdown from the lack of anything in my marriage.  I have endured for 15 years as Vince's caregiver in a marriage without benefits by the grace of God and the help He has sent me, and the peace He has brought me for much of the time.

But I feel I am at a crisis point today—I tried to reach a priest at the church, but being Sunday, no one answered.  I couldn't connect to the emergency line for some reason - probably God didn't want me to speak to a priest today.  But I will speak to one soon, because I need to know what I can have in my marriage, what I can receive from my husband, when all I hear about marriage from the Church is the mutual, loving partnership of man and woman. WELL, I WANT THAT!!! 

My marriage is all about my giving all, and receiving nothing from a totally disabled husband.  He cannot even speak a word to me, let alone make me feel loved in any way anymore.  We have no history of good times together - he was ill since the beginning with a failing brain.  I feel in light of what God wants marriage to be, that I have a RIGHT to receive something from my marriage, not just challenges to make me stronger; I need to feel loved and appreciated and that my husband is even conscious of me!  I talk to him and he stares right past me at the TV.

So I want to pose this to a priest, and I have hopes that God will provide an answer.  I believe that God has answers that I cannot imagine, and I hope He has an answer for me this time.  I'm tired of being brave and so alone.  I'm not Wonderwoman, and I'm not a saint.  I need to feel loved, especially when I have poured out all I have for my husband.  I have other blessings in my life and a lot of wonderful friends, but I need more in my MARRIAGE, not distractions away from it.  I want and need something from my marriage, and I pray that God will show me what that is . . . .